A Funny Thing

I HAVE REVISED MY GOAL TO BE REALISTIC WHICH IS A YES, I CAN DO THAT, I CREATED IT! GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION.

The closer I get to our Family Reunion, A FUNNY THING, is happening to my mind. I am 3 lbs away from my Goal. ALL I NEED IS TO HIT THE 30'S. And I figured out if I just watch what I eat I can still hit it by May 30th, my birthday, by getting really active and losing 1 lbs every two days. Which is feasible and easy enough and still remain on the healthy side. And I will accept it, if I loose more weight along the way.

But I don’t want to do it. I want to forget losing weight and be what I am. Cause we are having our friends, Grover and Kay over to eat dinner with us Pizza(which I love)and to play Train before everyone parts ways. I was planning on a sickly, kinda sweet desert but canceled it. It would ‘hurt me ’ to say, I am going to eat ‘smaller portions,’ which is what I would have to do. But I opted not to temp myself.  I have been trying to get back in the weight loss frame of  mind. MY MIND IS SAYING RATHER LOUDLY, DON'T DO THAT. HOW SILLY CAN YOU GET, YOUR TOO OLD TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. Which is silly cause your never too young, or never too middle, or never too old, to worry about what you look like.
   
BUT HEALTH WISE, THERE IS A FAINT SOUND OF, 'DON'T OVER EAT!'  HARVARD HEALTH, which I ascribe to, DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DO THIS, THEY EVEN ADVISE EXERCISING. THIS, GOAL IS A WISE IDEA. KEEPS YOU FROM HAVING HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, DIABETES, HEART TROUBLE, ETC,.ETC,.ETC.

A SAD THING IS HAPPENING, MY MIND, IS TALKING WAY TO MUCH. I HEAR VOICES SAYING, EAT, EAT, AND THEN I HEAR VOICES SAYING, DON'T EAT, DON'T EAT. IT'S DOWNRIGHT DEBILITATING, cause mostly those Voices are my own.

    A FUNNY THING, is happening to my mind. But you see, my mind is playing tricks on me. I have already lost 9 lbs and I am getting ‘COMFORTABLE’ WITH MYSELF. I am thinking, hey, I’ll just put on LOOSE T-SHIRTS, and just go like I am. They won’t care. I repeat, THEY WON’T CARE. AND THEY WON’T. In fact they'll be so happy to see me, they will take me, VOICES AND ALL. Truly, I don't mind the voices, I just wish one would tell me how to stop that oil flowing(AN EPIPHANY) and I'll tell BP. I won't condemn um, I'll help um. Why, you ask? Cause I drive a big car, silly. And I don't like driving a bike all the way to TEXAS. Anyways back to the point. Yes, this drivel has a point.

    A FUNNY THING, is happening to my mind. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I AM GETTING TOO CLOSE TO MY GOAL, AND I AM GOING BACK TO MY OLD WAYS OF THINKING.
    TOTAL SATISFACTION WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS. I CALL IT THE, I’M OK, YOUR OK, BACKWARD SYNDROME. Like I said BEFORE, TOTAL SATISFACTION WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS. Why change? Why trouble myself?

    This is not how it all started. I was dissatisfied with myself and others. I was thinking, we all need to improve and can, if we ‘but try.’ But now, A FUNNY THING, is happening to my mind. IT'S SO SAD! I HAVE TURNED THE OTHER CHEEK, CREATED A WAY TO FAIL, AND DARN IF I’M NOT HEADING IN THAT DIRECTION. ALL BECAUSE, OF MY ABILITY TO ACCEPT ME AND OTHERS JUST LIKE THEY ARE. I AM BEGINNING TO ASSESS MY SITUATION AND SAY, THIS IS OK. WHAT’S WRONG WITH FAILING TO MEET A GOAL. NOTHING IF YOU ARE NOT IN A CLASSROOM SITUATION.

I THINK....... No one could care less, if I fail or not....... I THINK

    “But one of my daughters told me she had lost 15lbs and was heading toward her goal 30 more lbs.

    “And then, my other daughter asked me, yesterday,  how I was coming along with my weight loss.  I told her, beginning to flounder, and asked her how she was doing, she told me she had lost 5 lbs her goal. I said great. And I am certain the rest of my daughters will ask the same thing when I see them, because I have been giving updates every week or so, on how I am coming along AND NOT GIVING UP. Plus worse than that, I’m the main one, motivating them not to give up, to go for the  Gold and the Gifts.

    SO NOW, I AM DOWN TO THE NITTY, GRITTY, AND NEED TO LIVE UP TO MY MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES AND REALIZE THERE ARE OTHERS WHO ARE FOLLOWING ME. DO I, LIKE THE PIED PIPER LEAD THEM OVER A DITCH, OR DO I ‘STAND UP AND BE COUNTED,’ AND QUIT THIS INFERNAL, YOU'RE OK, I’M OK, BUSINESS. We were not OK, in March when we invented this Goal, and we are not OK now, if WE QUIT BEFORE WE REACH OUR GOALS.

    This funny thing, that is occurring with me, is just going to have to become, just a funny thing, something I can look back at, and laugh about. For I am not going to quit, just because I have arrived at a very late date, and it is sooo eassssy to give up, for I know all of my husbands family will take and like me just like I am and still love me.

 BUT I WON’T. And since I have to LIVE WITH ME, I would like to PLEASE ME. And PLEASE THOSE OTHERS WHOM I MOTIVATED.

    I kinda think this applies to MY HUSBAND LEADER AND MY PRESIDENTIAL LEADER ALSO. THEY  MOTIVATED ME, now let THEM quit wallowing in self pity and the massive amount of problems, that face them, and get busy saying, 'I HAVE TO LIVE WITH ME, I Would like to PLEASE ME, and PLEASE THOSE OTHERS WHOM I MOTIVATED.' 

IT IS AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

Love Nina
Later more later